A Special Place in Umbria...Brigolante!

It is with great pleasure that I bring to you an interview with someone I have known for many years here in Italy. She has been a constant source of pride in what she has accomplished in her business. I have always recommended her bed and breakfast/apartments to anyone and everyone, with no hesitation. Written up in many travel magazines and guidebooks, it is easy to see why. With  love for her area in Umbria, she is always willing to tantalize you with her homemade, fresh, organic foods and wine; to help you make the most of your time in her area; to take home amazing memories; and, of course, to help you sleep like a fully-satiated baby in her fantastic guesthouse.

So, without further ado, I give you Rebecca, of Brigolante Guest Apartments in Assisi... 

Thanks for agreeing to be interviewed -- I've "known" you since way-back-when during our days on Slow Travel and have watched your business grow more and more popular over the years.

You come from Chicago, right? I lived there for many years myself, and it's interesting to see another Chicagoan making their way here. From what I remember, there is a huge Italian culture there. Did that fact make it any easier for not only your decision to move, but your "integration" here?

Yes, I was born and grew up in and around Chicago (and some days I miss it dearly, despite having left 20 years ago!); my last place of residence before packing up for overseas was Evanston, in the northern suburbs, as I graduated from Northwestern University.

There was (and is) not only a huge Italian culture there, but huge Polish, Greek, Mexican, Indian, Pakistan....I could go on and on...cultures there. So, no, the specific presence of a huge Italian culture didn’t particularly influence my decision to move, but the contact with a huge ethnic mix as I was growing up and when I was a student certainly lies at the base of my curiosity about the world and the people in it, my love of travel, and my love of food...all of which made my integration overseas easier and more fun.

When did you actually make the initial move, and what was your deciding factor to take such a leap in saying "okie dokie I think I'll go open a vacation rental in Assisi"?

I made the move just a few months after graduating from Northwestern in 1993. I had wanted to study abroad while enrolled, but I went to college on a scholarship and wouldn’t have been able to finish my course work on time had I gone abroad. So I finished on time, and then struck out for adventure before I got caught up in graduate school or a career and would lose my chance.

I came to Umbria first, as I had been here as a high school student and still had friends here (with whom I corresponded by LETTER! There was no Facebooking back then). Then...I never left! I ended up meeting and marrying a man from Assisi whose family owned an old farmhouse, so while I went through law school in Perugia (about 30 minutes from Assisi) we spent all our spare time renovating the property. When the farmhouse was finished, I opened up Brigolante (our farm holiday), had two sons, began travel writing...and the rest is history. 

(c) Brigolante Guest Apartments

Can you describe what your integration was like, in terms of being an American woman involved in renovation and opening the apartments? I've always had "mental problems" with the whole "under the tuscan sun" issue and skipping around a small town renovating a broken-down villa and being all la-di-da about it. What's the reality?

The reality was incredibly, mind-numbingly, bone-crushingly, spirit-deadeningly hard. It was hard. I would have NEVER done it without having all the local knowledge and contacts I was fortunate to have through my husband. Never done it logistically, and never done it financially. But you deal with things with a lot of zen when you’re 25 and have your entire life ahead of you if things go south. I was lucky in that I did have a partner who was both local and in the construction business, the economy was booming in Italy at that time, and I’m a tough cookie. (To get an idea of what it’s like to build in Italy, you can read my oldie but goodie blog post: http://www.brigolante.com/blog/2004/07/to-dream-the-impossible-dream/)

(c) Brigolante Guest Apartments

Looking back, I have no regrets. It’s been a wonderful run since we opened in 1997. I have met so many incredible guests over the years, was able to work from home when my sons were born, and, at the end of the day, and go to bed knowing that I have done something to protect the history and culture of this area I love so much.  

I've always known you to be a strong (and strong-willed!) female entrepreneur in a land inundated with expats and businesses run by either expats or a long line of Italian families. To what do you owe your success and why are you different?

I am a strong believer in karma, even in business. Time and time again I have been paid back for being honest, kind, generous, and straight with clients who are honest, kind, generous, and straight to me. The only success you can have, both in work and in life, is connection with others. With a different business philosophy I would probably have more money in the bank right now, but I feel pretty rich as it is.

And on a personal level?

I’m also strong believer in knowing your worth and being open to constant growth. I know what I’m made of and don’t cotton to being treated as less, and I also know that I still have a lot of growing to do and a bite of crow every once in awhile never killed a body. You need to know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em, and I get it right maybe 50% of the time. But I’m getting better 

(c) Brigolante Guest Apartments

La dolce vita? Yes or no?

Living in Italy is incredibly difficult...it has all the challenges of living anywhere overseas, but with the additional complications of an incredibly disheartening political and economic system which is hobbling the country, an anacronistic view of women, and a fixation on “bella figura”which sometimes hinders developing authentic relationships. If one has the unlimited budget to move here, purchase a home that needs no repair, and spend their days sipping wine and watching the sun set over the hills, then the dolce vita can be a reality. For the rest of us, it’s just fleeting moments during an otherwise hectic life. But dolce fleeting moments.

Is it possible for you to pinpoint the one single "best" thing about your life here, and in the opposite, the one single "worst"?

I live in a beautiful area, incredibly rich in history and culture. This is, hands down, the best thing about life here. When my kids kick a ball around, they do it against a backdrop of a 12^th century Romanesque church facade. It never ceases to awe and amaze me just how beautiful Umbria is.

I also love food and wine, and no matter where I travel, I always come back to the food and wine in Italy. It’s just the best. Sorry, but that’s the truth.

The worst, aside from being so far from family, is the exhaustion that sometimes come with expat life. It can wear you down and bring out the worst. I talk about it here: Rebecca's Blog -- "Crybaby, the Expat Tantrum"

In the states (and maybe around the world), there is a tendency to downplay the realities of Italy, what with the proliferation of mafia-based games, television shows and movies giving it some semblance of "quaintness" in this aspect, and the aspect of "la dolce vita". Coming from an area rich with Italian heritage, can you describe your feelings or views on this fiction versus nonfiction?

The “mafia” that cripples Italy is not so much the drug and prostitution ring-style gangsters, but the back-room politicking between politicians and well-placed, powerful businesses which have made it so hard for those with no connections to make any sort of serious career for themselves here that the brain drain among Italy’s youth is astounding. Of course, it’s sexier to depict the crime bosses (and make for more colorful headlines in the papers), but when most Italians toss about the word mafia, they mean it with a lower-case “m”, meaning a closed economic and social system only accessible to those who have connections, rather than an upper-case “M” referring to criminal organizations.

(c) Brigolante Guest Apartments

Tell me about the food and wine in your area.

Umbria was a rural, farming region until recently and the food and wine here still reflects the importance of eating and drinking well. Many families still have plots of vineyard and olive trees to make their own wine and oil, many still home butcher a pig each winter, and the region is known for its heirloom legumes, excellent produce, and wild mushrooms and truffles. I could go on and on about the food, but let me just say that if you love food and wine, this region should be on your short list.

There are also a number of excellent food tours, cooking lessons, and guided winery visits nearby.

If you could give one primary piece of advice to a woman wanting to come here and live "la dolce vita", what would it be?

Don’t come to Italy to find yourself. Come to Italy because you already know who you are and what you want. Italy lends itself more to losing yourself than finding yourself 

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As included above, you can find and contact Rebecca at Brigolante Guest Apartments, Assisi, Italy. You will be glad you did.....

Cairo...Part 1

A few years ago I “met” a young woman (through Facebook), born and raised in Cairo. We have carried on many conversations throughout that time, and I came to learn that she is not only emotionally strong, but strong-willed! When considering who to interview, she was one of the first to come to mind. (The only changes I have made in her answers are minor, spelling, for ease of reading.) And now, I'd like to introduce my friend Nan from Cairo...

Thanks so much for agreeing to be interviewed. I'm looking forward to this! I think my first question to you would be this: You are a young woman in the chaotic city of Cairo, which is going through a tremendously tough time right now, relatively newly married and with a baby boy. Do you consider your life in Cairo to be much different from life for any other young woman in other large cities?

I can't really tell whether it is different or not .. I didn't live much with the same circumstances in any other city, but as you said we are going through real hard times now. Marriage was somehow going peacefully at the beginning, although working and taking care of my home were not easy, but it was ok and I was managing. Things started to get harder with the revolution that occurred 6 months after...

Being married has magnified the trouble.

How so?

First of all, I am responsible about home expenses and with the continuous increase of prices of everything, worries rise in the air about are we going to be able to live at the same level tomorrow? Will we be able to provide our son a good comfortable life? Given that I stopped working and I am home since pregnancy, for about a year and a half now, and my husband is supporting us all. God bless him. Moreover, when I was single I didn't care much about safety – though Egypt before revolution was the safest city you can ever walk around, even at 3 am – but now it is gone. I only go out with my husband or to my mother and in laws homes, otherwise no, and I never go out after sunset. It is not safe anymore. Thugs and troubles and protests are everywhere and almost on a weekly basis.

Cairo is a tough city, an expensive one, you must keep running to be able to live good. And we are already doing our best.

When you said, however, that you can now only go out with your husband or to your mother and in-laws homes, what do you mean? The safety aspect, in what way? As a female, or is it the cover/no-cover?

No no I didn't mean that. The government might be Islamist, and hijab is worn by the majority of Muslim girls in Egypt BUT there is nothing such as Afganistan burka or anyone forced to wear it by the government. The majority of girls wear fashionable hijab, and I actually prefer to call it ehtesham which means conservative clothes, like nuns for example.

I meant about the SAFETY. The streets of Cairo aren't safe any more. I admit it – during the ruling of Mubarak and the tyranny of the police, we were living safe. The police were sometimes crossing limits but to keep the lowlifes and thugs away from the streets.

What do people want? Safety and food .. freedom is a luxury.

Even though obviously you adore your son and love your husband, do you miss your working life?

TERRIBLY. I had been working from 2000 until 2011, over ten years, reaching a high position as I was the head of the research and market intelligence department in a reputable government entity. I used to work with chairmen and CEOs and ministers, and suddenly all of this is gone. I discovered that I was with a baby and not just pregnant but high risk pregnancy because I had a fibroid that may cause abortion, so I had to stay home under medical supervision (luckily my husband is an OBGYN). So after going out every day, I just stayed home to cook, clean, take care of my hubby and my baby.

One of the things that annoys me the most is that I am used to having my own money, spending it as I wish. Now I have to ask, but I consider myself lucky because my hubby is not that kind of man who considers that his wife's salary is his. And actually I don't ask for money – he gives me what I need even before asking. Other women suffer. I had a friend whose husband takes her salary and gives her an allowance, barely enough for her needs, and makes an issue if she spends on something for her. There are women who stay home and have to be dependant on their husbands. They suffer because their men use money as a way to control and oppress them.

I also miss the dynamism of the day, meeting people, knowing stories of other people, events, going here and there, attending meetings and conferences. But now I have a fixed schedule. Routine is killing me, and there is nothing much to do. That is why I love virtual games. They take me to other colorful places. I hate to be dependant, but my husband always says "you are paying your share by taking care of our son instead of putting him in a day care and spending money, and he might get ill" and so on. One thing I have to tell you. Day care here is usually an apartment in a building with no sun or playground. It is more like a place to lock kids till their parents are back from work, and honestly I won't feel good if my baby is in one of these. Anyway, it may be a matter of time, then I'll go back. Work isn't my life, but staying at home isn't the same either.

Thinking back to the "revolution" in Cairo, when the citizens took to the streets and accomplished an amazing feat. In this day and age of instant communication and social networking, what was it like to be cut off from the world? Would you describe it more as scary or exciting?

No one ever thought that this call for a demonstration on the 25th of January will ever work. Many did it before and failed. We lived 18 days of constant thrill, fear and loads of waiting. Every home in Egypt barely got any sleep. After the first week of the revolution, all government entities asked the employees to stay home because there might be attacks on the buildings, and during this chaos you barely knew who was innocent or not. Add to that the opening of the prisons by Hamas and helped by the Muslim brotherhood to free prisoners, and continuous attacks on police stations -- usually by thugs and criminals -- and you would hear that many people were attacked on the streets, not from the revolutionists but from thugs and criminals released onto the streets.

Among all of this, communication was out. We were blacked out. Thank god there were landlines to call our families and friend, and we sat in front of the tv not moving. It was scary especially that my hubby had to go to work. One morning he woke me up and told me "we must leave now." He took me to my mother and went to work; he then went to his mother because she is living alone. So I keep waiting for a phone call on the landline at the end of the day. Cutting communication was the stupidest thing someone can do because it encouraged people to go more and more in the streets to know what is going on live – after all tv doesn't broadcast everything.

Such a time. I didn't sleep or eat. I was just praying for the safety of everyone I know.

My goal here is to introduce you to some people I consider myself fortunate to call friends and acquaintances; those whom I feel show us all what it means to live our lives to the fullest.  To have had a dream and found a way to make it happen.  To find the light in the darkness and come out the better for it.  People from all walks of life with their own story.

I'm looking forward to this section :-)